There has been so many different things going on in life lately. However, at times, I feel as if it is all a little foggy, like I don’t see the finish line. This seems to be happening at home, at work, and in my inner-life (the things that go on in my mind).
When it comes to home, it is projects–like my shed. When am I going to find time to finish it? It just needs two coats of paint and a few trim boards. But, I’ve been dealing with a few things outside the regular routine that have been quite disruptive to normal project deadlines. Thus, I projects that are intended to be 2 week projects become 4 week projects. And, frankly, that’s frustrating. But, if that is all that bugs me about home life, then I am okay to deal with it.
Speaking of home life, on another note, I had a wonderful date with my wife the other day. We had such a great time. We talked. We ate. We asked questions, laughed, drank, and spent time being married. It was great. I am so blessed to have such a fantastic wife. She is so special to me. I wouldn’t want to live a day without her by my side.
Now, work-life. It’s great. It has its challenges, mainly relational sort of things, but, overall, I love it. CFL Wesley is a joy for me. I enjoy going to work. I love to see students growing in their faith or opening up to one another or discovering rich things of God’s character. It makes me want more of Jesus and more prayer for continued growth in every student who comes through Wesley. God has really blessed me with this opportunity.
Finally, inner-life. This has been troubling. I have been craving creativity. However, there’s been a lot of distractions, from work stuff to home stuff, from relationships to marriage. Not that the distractions are bad. I just want to be creative. I want to be growing as a creative, as someone who takes time expressing my love for Christ through the creative gifts He has given me. I know I’ll get to it. I have just had a lot of distractions. I think being creative, flexing the ol’ creative muscles, is something I should do every day, or I would at least like to commit to that.
I read something cool today: Mark 12. It is an exceptional chapter in the Gospel of Mark. Jesus’ parable of the wicked vine-dressers was so convicting. They worked and toiled over the Lord’s vineyard, and, in the end, they wanted to the fruit, the riches, and the inheritance all to themselves. They felt their labor deserved a reward of the fruit, rather than the wages that the Lord and they had agreed on. I am the same way. I see my labor, my toiling, and I expect some fruit. I don’t want to give the Lord any of His fruit. I worked for it. Then, I realize that my Christian faith is not about what I get, but what I “lose”. Jesus expresses like this: “Those who lose their life will find it…” Thus, my work and labor is lost–I reap no material or monetary gain–but I do gain the joy of the Lord. The Lord delighted in the vineyard in Mark 12. He put up walls to protect it, even before it produced fruit. He created a wine press and a tower. This all happens before the fruit comes. He expects it to be great. He puts all the investment in upfront. And when the season is ready for harvest, He comes back to it ready to delight in the wine. Wouldn’t it be a delight to present the Lord with great fruit? To give him a cup of wine from the vineyard He asked me and you to tend? What’s awesome is that I have this opportunity every day, but I seldom take the opportunity to let Him partake. I say, “It’s mine. I worked for this. I’ve sweat over this. I’ve spent my life on this.” And, for me, in my life, that’s so wrong. I lose to find, and die to live. That’s where my growth needs to start or restart or something like that.