As I read 1 Peter, however, I cam across something interesting. “Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good as to a faithful Creator” (1 Peter 4:19, NKJV). When I first read this, it didn’t mean anything. But, the second time I read this, I was perplexed: “let those who suffer according to the will of God.” What the heck? Suffering is part of God’s will? I’ve never heard this before. Peter says it fairly clear here in 1 Peter 4. We do suffer according to the will of God.

I meditated on this for a while. I wrestled with this. The church doesn’t teach anything about suffering as being part of God’s will. Yet, it says it here in 1 Peter. Thus, either I am wrongfully interpreting this verse and scripture or the church is missing something in its teaching.

I re-read the chapter over and over, and I got fixed on verses 12-14. I think they give us some insight into the mystery of verse 19.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. – 1 Peter 4:12-14, NIV84

I have been taught all my life that happiness and health and psychological wellness and comfort are God’s design. I like the thought of that, don’t get me wrong. However, looking across the world, outside my quasi-middle-class life, I see a lot of suffering. I see a lot of war, death, poverty, disease. And this world I live in is God’s design. Thus, the happiness, health, and comfort that I have been taught is God’s will for my life cannot be the paramount purpose of God’s will.

This is where verse 12-14 come into play. Peter says in verse 12, “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.” Why am I surprised when trial comes my way? He says, “do not be surprised.” Clearly, he is implying, “it’s normal to go through suffering. Don’t be surprised by it. You will have suffering in your life.” Then, moving to the next sentence, verse 13, “But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.” He says, “do not be surprised…but rejoice.” Interesting. I feel like we are so quick to fix the suffering. Sometimes, we fix it with drugs, or we fix it with food, or with sex, or with blame. The fact is we immediately try to alleviate and put an end to suffering. However, Peter challenges us to “rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ.” I can’t say I was happy to read this verse. I do not want to be happy about suffering. I do not want to participate in Christ’s suffering. However, to be honest, I do want the benefit of His suffering. I believe that Peter is telling us to be glad and thankful when we suffer; remember Christ’s suffering, what He gave up, what He did for us. As we participate in His suffering, the benefit becomes all the more amazing. And when the benefit becomes more amazing, the benefactor is so much more appreciated. As a result, our appreciation and admiration for the Lord is increased.

One final word, just a thought about suffering “according to the will of God.” If it was God’s will that His Son (who, in fact, is God in the flesh) would suffer, for it was according to God’s will that Christ suffered. Then, we (who are not God) are called as well to suffer “according to the will of God.”

When it comes to home, it is projects–like my shed. When am I going to find time to finish it? It just needs two coats of paint and a few trim boards. But, I’ve been dealing with a few things outside the regular routine that have been quite disruptive to normal project deadlines. Thus, I projects that are intended to be 2 week projects become 4 week projects. And, frankly, that’s frustrating. But, if that is all that bugs me about home life, then I am okay to deal with it.

Speaking of home life, on another note, I had a wonderful date with my wife the other day. We had such a great time. We talked. We ate. We asked questions, laughed, drank, and spent time being married. It was great. I am so blessed to have such a fantastic wife. She is so special to me. I wouldn’t want to live a day without her by my side.

Now, work-life. It’s great. It has its challenges, mainly relational sort of things, but, overall, I love it. CFL Wesley is a joy for me. I enjoy going to work. I love to see students growing in their faith or opening up to one another or discovering rich things of God’s character. It makes me want more of Jesus and more prayer for continued growth in every student who comes through Wesley. God has really blessed me with this opportunity.

Finally, inner-life. This has been troubling. I have been craving creativity. However, there’s been a lot of distractions, from work stuff to home stuff, from relationships to marriage. Not that the distractions are bad. I just want to be creative. I want to be growing as a creative, as someone who takes time expressing my love for Christ through the creative gifts He has given me. I know I’ll get to it. I have just had a lot of distractions. I think being creative, flexing the ol’ creative muscles, is something I should do every day, or I would at least like to commit to that.

I read something cool today: Mark 12. It is an exceptional chapter in the Gospel of Mark. Jesus’ parable of the wicked vine-dressers was so convicting. They worked and toiled over the Lord’s vineyard, and, in the end, they wanted to the fruit, the riches, and the inheritance all to themselves. They felt their labor deserved a reward of the fruit, rather than the wages that the Lord and they had agreed on. I am the same way. I see my labor, my toiling, and I expect some fruit. I don’t want to give the Lord any of His fruit. I worked for it. Then, I realize that my Christian faith is not about what I get, but what I “lose”. Jesus expresses like this: “Those who lose their life will find it…” Thus, my work and labor is lost–I reap no material or monetary gain–but I do gain the joy of the Lord. The Lord delighted in the vineyard in Mark 12. He put up walls to protect it, even before it produced fruit. He created a wine press and a tower. This all happens before the fruit comes. He expects it to be great. He puts all the investment in upfront. And when the season is ready for harvest, He comes back to it ready to delight in the wine. Wouldn’t it be a delight to present the Lord with great fruit? To give him a cup of wine from the vineyard He asked me and you to tend? What’s awesome is that I have this opportunity every day, but I seldom take the opportunity to let Him partake. I say, “It’s mine. I worked for this. I’ve sweat over this. I’ve spent my life on this.” And, for me, in my life, that’s so wrong. I lose to find, and die to live. That’s where my growth needs to start or restart or something like that.

I’ve been trying to read more stuff. I’m not much of a reader. I grow tired of reading. Nevertheless, I was reading Psalm 69 today, and I found it to have some encouraging things.

First off, Jesus was so dedicated to the Lord. He was so zealous for the Lord, for the Lord’s house even. It says that, “for zeal for your house consumes me, and the insults of those who insult you fall on me.” Jesus had such a passion even for God’s house. The house of God is not actual the person of God. It’s like me being overwhelmed with passion for my house. I’m not. If I was, I would probably be adding more beauty to it. But Jesus is consumed with zeal for His Father’s house. He knows that His Father’s presence dwells there. And what is cool about this is that the Lord’s Spirit dwells in us, in our hearts. Huh? If Jesus is zealous for the place that God’s spirit dwells, then zeal for our hearts (where the Holy Spirit dwells) consumes Him. What an awesome picture! He is zealous for our hearts. He longs to see our hearts made right. The corrupt things of our inner-man made new and clean. Thank you, Lord.

So, I also am working on a hymn based on Psalm 69. Here’s what I got:

I am broken and in need
Where can I find my peace?
The Lord is my salvation
A rock that is high, all my fears will cease

Jesus, your name be praised
My God, I magnify your hand of love
With thanks and melody
You will not despise my song

The Broken hear your praise and smile
Those who long for you shall breathe your life
For your mercy, it is great
And you restore the captive dwelling in great strife

I was reading today in Psalm 53 and Mark 1. I’ve been going through Psalms, 53 was up next, and I felt like I should read through Mark, because it has been 10 years or more since I read through Mark. Some interesting things I discovered that really showed me some things about God, the Father, and Jesus, the Son of God.

In Psalm 53, it says, “God looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God” (Ps. 53:2; NIV). God, the Father, is looking at us, looking at everyone to see if we are looking for him. He wants–no, desperately desires–to find someone who is seeking Him. If you look at it this way, what good father does not want his children to seek him for wisdom, affection, or provision? God is “Our Father” and “Hallowed be [His] name.” But what we see in verse 3 tells us that God did not find anyone who sought after Him: “Everyone has turned away, all have become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one.” What the heck? Not a single person is good; myself included.

However, the story doesn’t end here in Psalm 53. When we look forward to Mark 1, we see that God’s search is over. He looks everywhere across the whole earth, and what does He find? Himself, as a man–Jesus. Jesus is the one whom God had been searching for all along. Jesus was the only one “who [understood]” and “who [sought] God.” We know this, because God says this to Jesus: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased” (Mark 1:11; NIV). God makes His claim, “I love You, Son. I am so pleased with You.” (That’s my translation.)

As we continue in Mark 1, Jesus jumps right into the thick of things. (Or so it feels that way, because of Mark’s writing style.) Anyway, Jesus does perform miracles: casts out an evil spirit, heals a sick woman, and cleanses a leper. Furthermore, when He is teaching in the synagogues, the people realize that preaches differently: He preaches with authority. I believe that Jesus was living in the full belief, full trust, and full faith that He was, indeed, the Son of God. When He heard the Father say, ”You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased,” He believed one hundred percent, not a doubt in His mind. He believed the Father when the Father said that He was loved, that He was the Father’s son, and that the Father was pleased with Him. By holding to the character and title claimed on Him by the Father, Jesus gained authority as the “the Holy One of God” (Mark 1:24). That is why whatever He does from the point of baptism and later, He does with authority as “the Holy One of God,” a pretty awesome title.

So what this means for me, I have been given authority as well. God has called me good, righteous by the blood of Jesus, his adopted son. If I live in these titles, with faith, then I will gain authority over many things, not for my own good, but for the good of the Kingdom. Thus, I need an attitude change, really. I lose focus, lose sight of the titles God has given me. God is the one who gives us the titles and the authority. It’s our job to trust in His word and have faith in the character He has claimed over us.

So, I want to commit myself to truly seeking out the Lord, always!  Not letting up one day, to pick up another.  But, as anyone knows, it’s hard to keep up.  All the distractions of life–work, school, family, spouse, pleasure, recreation, entertainment, insecurities–take their aim at all your vulnerable time slots–Jesus time, small groups, church.  Thus, I am dodging the bullets of my own desires to spend time with the Lord.  I know this sounds dramatic and all, that’s because it is, on paper (or on the screen, in the internet’s case.)  Nevertheless, I have to be committed to something more than passions an desires, because, as it is clear to all, they fade and falter just as the flesh does, but the Spirit is willing.

I spent time today meditating on the Lord’s prayer.  It is not something I have never done before.  However, I made it a point to be very intentional about listening to the Spirit while meditating.  I guess, I should always do that, really.

First off, I was reminded of the scripture, “Thus you are to be holy to Me, for I the LORD am holy; and I have set you apart from the peoples to be Mine” (Lev. 20:26 NASB).  If I want to dwell with the Lord, if I want to speak with Him, if I want to call upon His holy Name, then I must be holy as well.  In fact, in this Leviticus passage, God is commanding me to be holy, because He is.  And, in all reality, I am aware that true holiness is unattainable, because I am human.  (You could ask my wife that: she’s seen how human I can be.)  I think the part about being holy that grabbed my focus the most is that I expect the Lord to come be with me whenever I please.  And probably nine hundred ninety-nine times out of a thousand, I am asking Him to rest with me while I am an unholy devil.  However, God, in his great mercy, still sits beside the ragged, sinful, selfish man I am.  And from that, from the multitude of His mercies, I am thankful for His holiness.  (For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. — Ps. 103:11 NASB.)

And the other cool thing I got when meditating on the Lord’s prayer is this: Pray expectantly everyday for the Lord to provide “the daily bread” for all parts of life.  I found that “daily bread” is all kinds of life giving substances, whether it is physical bread for the day to nourish my body, or the Word of God to nourish my soul, or spiritual questions for my wife and I to discuss to nourish our marriage.  I guess, ultimately, I can expect that God will provide for all parts of life, for He has come to bring “abundant life.”

Well, I actually had written a whole lot on here.  But somehow it all got deleted.  Thanks wordpress.com.

I wrote about Isaiah 44-45.  Some interesting things that I have been thinking about.  The main point I made was that God creates all things, even righteousness, goodness, and salvation.  So I cannot seek things in my life that will bring me a false righteousness, goodness, and salvation.  But, rather, seek the Lord–just as Matthew 6 says.

I last wrote on 12/2/2008.  Over two months ago.  So since then, I have gotten married to the most lovely and incredibly bautiful Heather Walter, now taking the name Heather Margio.  Thus, my life has changed quite a bit.  I am not longer living with a group of sloppy, messy guys, but my wife gets the chance to live with one soppy, messy guy–in fact, she gets the chance every day for the rest of her life. But, all kidding aside, I love being with her.  And I really am not that messy.  It’s true I do have to work on it, but I can be a pretty clean guy.

It has been such an awesome season of my life, getting married.  I love being able to talk to my best friend every day.  I love waking up and seeing her.  I love to share my intermost thoughts with her before we go to bed.  And I love giving her a back tickle before she falls fast asleep.  She has changed my life in so many ways, and because I love who I am, I love her ever more.  I think that is an important thing about love in the first place.  If you can love who you are, then you can love other people.  I feel that applies to a lot of situations.

In fact, there was a time in my life, years ago, when I didn’t love who I was, for I lived in guilt and shame.  It was hard to breathe.  Every thought led to a pain that stroke deep in my heart.  I hated who I had become.  But just as God always does, He loves us before we ever love ourselves.  And thus, I am here today, loving the woman of my dreams.

For a little humor.  Here is what’s been going on at Wesley, when we get a little free time:

http://www.facebook.com/v/49374069823

Now, back to the action.  I am back in Orlando, hurried back into the swing of things, and unhappily met with the temptations of the world I live in.  It is amazing how the evil one can see right into our weakness and strike.  Returning home from a trip away, met with little temptation thoughout its entirety, I was bombarded with images and thoughts that had not once crossed my thoughts for the previous five days.  How invading and how intrusive!  I find that I have to be on guard continually and be engaging in battle continual.  Now don’t get me wrong, I find this to be the way things should be.  I should not be lazy for any reason at all.  In fact, I love how Song of Solomon 3:1-2 puts it “All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him.”  The speaker, which is actually the bride, sees that her groom is not with her in bed, so she goes out in search of him.  This is the key.  I want to always be in search of God.  I think God likes to see us in search or in pursuit of Him.  Let’s face it, we like to be pursued.  I love it when my fiance is pursuing me, and I am more than positive that she loves it when I am in search of her.  I think there is something to that desire deep in all of us, that is more than likely a direct characteristic of God himself.  He wants to be pursued, but He won’t make us pursue Him like robots, because that would be tyrannical love–kind of an oxymoron.  The point is: pursuit is important.  When I pursue God, I have integrity, courage, purpose, and selfless love.  When I am not pursuing, then I am probably doing whatever it is I want, which usually ends up being something I regret.